So, here’s a fun fact about social dynamics: there is a huge difference between
(1) doing a favor that someone has asked of you, and
(2) doing a nice thing for someone that you proposed/offered on your own initiative.
The latter thing, in practice, usually has more of the dynamics of you owing the other person a favor. It involves a restructuring of the other person’s time and energy, a certain dose of mental inconvenience, which is being done at your behest; it’s hard to shake the sense that this is being done for your sake, since you’re the one pushing it. Even though the end product is (in theory) a nice thing for the other person rather than for you.This can be very unfair and frustrating in certain circumstances. Nonetheless, better to acknowledge it than to get steamrolled by it.
In particular: if you’re in the process of doing a nice thing for someone else that you proposed/offered on your own initiative, you have very limited moral authority in terms of controlling the process that follows. If you try to get people to act in certain ways or to make certain decisions, on the grounds that you’re basically doing them a favor and that it’s incumbent on them at least to be minimally helpful, there’s a good chance that it will go very badly. You have a lot of leeway and a lot of control when you’re actually responding to someone’s plea, but not nearly so much when you’re dealing with your own suggestion. This is an obvious defense mechanism against the sort of people who will deliberately take on work unasked (and/or martyr themselves) in exchange for social power.