epistemic status: fucking absurd, but that’s OK

So.  In (straight) marriages / serious long-term relationships where the woman is the breadwinner, we supposedly have this serious problem with male ego.  Men feel emasculated by their failure to play a credibly masculine role in the dynamic; they can contribute in all the ways that their womenfolk used to, by doing housework and childcare and suchlike, but (a) they often hate it, and (b) a lot of the women actually hate it too.  The “house husband” role is widely understood to be mediocre. 

How much mileage could we get out of reclassifying these guys as their wives’ bodyguards?

I mean, on some level it’s patently ridiculous.  Your average woman-with-a-decent-job does not actually need a bodyguard.  But then, let’s be honest, right now your average household does not need a full-time angel-in-the-home either. 

A large part of the wife’s role in a traditional marriage is to be an ornament.  Men can’t really be ornaments by showing off how sexy and desirable they are; we don’t have a cultural vocabulary that allows for it.  But they could theoretically show off how fierce and protective they are, in a way that seems likely to have ornamental value both to their wives and to outsiders.