You can have an ideology that says, “It is virtuous to be attracted to people with Trait X for Reason A, and unvirtuous to be attracted to people with Trait Y for Reason B; to the extent that your natural instinctive desires are not in accord with the path of virtue, you should work on yourself.”

You can have an ideology that says, “People want what they want, man.  Some people will be attracted to people with Trait X for Reason A, some people will be attracted to people with Trait Y for Reason B, that’s just the way of the world, hakuna matata.”

Hell, if you really want, you can have an ideology that says, “It is virtuous for men to be attracted to women with Trait X for Reason A, while it is virtuous for women to be attracted to men with Trait Y for Reason B, because men and women are fundamentally different and thus their proper desires have different shapes.”  You’re probably going to run into a lot of problems when it turns out that human psychology doesn’t break down along gender lines as neatly as you think it does, but whatever, normativity is normativity and you can’t argue with terminal values.

Any of this is worlds better, intellectually and socially, than the cultural default now.  As far as I can tell, the cultural default now works something like this:

“It is virtuous for men to be attracted to women with Trait X for Reason A, but really we all know that men are always and only attracted to women with Trait Y for Reason B – [never mind that, empirically, this is obviously not so] – and that this is both completely unconscionable and completely unchangeable.  Thus, forever, all men’s desire will be unvirtuous; and thus, forever, it will be virtuous for women to desire men with Trait Y for Reason B, precisely because men shouldn’t desire women in that way but do it anyway, and so for a woman to have such desires is a sign that she has claimed the mysterious dark power that allows men to be unvirtuous.”