‘I’m having a breakdown about the fact that the vibe of any artistic or intellectual community is always gonna be determined by the people in it who are fundamentally self affirming, not fundamentally self questioning, so every community I will ever encounter will always have a closed-circuit lingua franca that’s painful to me and that makes me feel like a ghost (even if lots of individual persons in the community are self-questioning people when they aren’t doing/thinking intra-community things that have to be done/thought in the community’s lingua franca). I feel like there is no cure cause things aren’t as meaningful to me outside communities but, like, by nature it’s the people that people like me are a ghost to that shape the communities.’